Exactly one week ago last Tuesday was my first gynae visit to check on my baby which was supposed to be 7 weeks old by then. It was a secret that was bursting to be shared once we had the confirmation of the gynae that all is well.
It’s amazing how fast things change and how you just had to cope with it. Nothing turned up on the ultrasound. A blood test and another transvarginal ultrasound confirmed a molar pregnancy. There was no fetus.
I was admitted into the hospital that same night and undergone a laparoscopy the next morning to clean out my womb and will need to undergo weekly blood tests to ensure that my BHCG levels is down to undetectable levels and that there is no risk of cancer developing.
From the joy, hope and anticipation of carrying a little being in you to simply nothing. I cried for 3 nights in the silent darkness of my hospital room and still tear abit every now and then thinking about it, but I believe I am healing abit as each day passes. Writing this out helps in the healing process as I type.
I will be pottering about in my balcony soon once my stitches are removed. I believe it will help in the healing process too. There is something about planting seeds, nurturing our plants, watching them grow and thrive that helps us, strengthens us and warms the humanity inside us somehow. Maybe it’s the process of watching life unfold before you that reminds you about hope that’s still abound around us.
16 comments
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May 13, 2008 at 1:54 am
Emma
I’m so sorry. My SIL went through the same thing with her first pregnancy, but now has two lovely daughters.
May 13, 2008 at 2:38 am
Anonymous
I am so sorry to hear this, Some times things like this might happen. Dont worry, Take care of yourself.
May 13, 2008 at 3:09 am
Katie
Theresa – I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through. I hope as each day passes you gain strength both physically and mentally. Let gardening be your therapy.
May 13, 2008 at 3:09 am
Katie
Sorry, misspelled your name. TEresa!
May 13, 2008 at 10:33 am
Christina
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I pray that you’ll find peace, acceptance, and new growth. And let me just say, plants are some pretty fabulous therapy.
May 14, 2008 at 5:53 am
joco
So glad you shared your sorrow with us: our thoughts will help dilute the pain. You know things will get brighter again.
May 14, 2008 at 8:06 am
rummi
hi theresa, sorry to hear abt your ordeal.
*sayang*sayang*
All lifes are gifts fr God. May God breathe life into your garden soon… before He breathe into your womb again.
May 14, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Kate
Such trauma for you. I can feel your pain from here. It is wonderful that you can write about it and share it with all of us out here who come by to ‘see’ you now and again. Take care.
May 15, 2008 at 3:41 pm
joco
Feeling any better today?
Take a look at my plateful of flowers: I was thinking of you when I put it together yesterday, so consider them yours.
joco’s Bloom Day Post
May 15, 2008 at 9:17 pm
rowena
Teresa I am so sorry to hear of this. My utmost feelings of comfort go out to you, and I hope that you will eventually be able to put this low point in your life behind you. Take care.
May 18, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Wilson Wong
Hi Teresa,
I am sorry to hear what has happened and I can know how it feels.
I hope you are getting better now. You must know we are all here to support you!
Wilson
May 21, 2008 at 12:42 am
Kristi
Teresa,
I am so sorry to here the devestating news. I hope things get better for you soon.
May 30, 2008 at 3:05 am
jo
Let us know how you are please.
June 7, 2008 at 4:32 pm
joco
Dear Teresa,
I so hope you are getting better.
(as you can see, I am not giving up trying to get you to come back 😉
June 8, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Teresa
Dear all, thanks alot from the bottom of my heart for your thoughts and words of encouragment. Each and everyone of them helped. Hugs.
Joco, if you are reading this. Thanks for not giving up on me. BUT I CAN’T GO INTO YOUR JOCODEANE BLOG. It say authorized readers only and I dont know what password to use. LOL.
June 19, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Alleyway
Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.
cheers, Alleyway!